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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361156">Coming Clean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneverk/pseuds/Kneverk'>Kneverk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agender Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Comes Out, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), F/M, Fluff, Genderqueer Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Listen: my boys are queer, M/M, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Queer Castiel (Supernatural), Queer Themes, THEY DESERVED THIS, i'm just so queer, so are they</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:22:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,075</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneverk/pseuds/Kneverk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck's out of the picture, everyone's happy, but Dean (and Cas) are struggling internally. With the (off-screen) help of therapy, can our boys finally work themselves out?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Jack Kline &amp; Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Coming Clean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sam set down his beer with an </span>
  <em>
    <span>ahh</span>
  </em>
  <span> and looked over to Eileen, who was sitting next to him at the map table. Dean, Cas, and Jack were working a little haunting case that they just took care of and were heading back now. For once, an easy salt and burn. Jack was very proud of solving it by himself (with absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> help from his dads, none at all). Eileen worked a case with Sam, and they had decided to celebrate with a few beers at the bunker. Hopefully, Eileen would stay a little longer than a few beers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want another one?” Sam signed as well as mouthed to Eileen, as she set down her beer, finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she said and signed, “but how about a movie? I’ll make popcorn, you pick.” Eileen already seemed to make her decision, going off to the kitchen. Sam grinned like a puppy dog, which Dean would totally tease him for, but hey, Eileen is back. This time, not having anything to do with (</span>
  <em>
    <span>eugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>) Chuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam smiled, picking out the cheesiest romance movie Dean would admit to liking (which wasn’t very cheesy), and set up the TV in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>TFW Cave</span>
  </em>
  <span> (adapted, previously the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dean Cave</span>
  </em>
  <span>). He settled some blankets and pillows on the couch, intended for </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> cuddling if given the opportunity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eileen brought in the popcorn, as promised. “Hey Sam,” she signed. She had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> about her that made Sam double take.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Eileen,” he signed, “is there something wrong?” He tilted his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She set down the popcorn. “Nothing’s wrong, I just think we need to. . . talk.” Before Sam could get another word in, she continued. “I know I said that I don’t know what’s real anymore, with. . . Chuck. But now that he’s out of the picture. . .” Eileen trailed off for a second. “I’d like to try </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>. . . again.” She smiled uncertainly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam practically jumped off the couch and stood to face Eileen properly. “I’d definitely like that,” Sam signed, rightfully not trusting himself to form words from his mouth in the correct fashion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eileen smiled a brighter and more confident smile. “Wonderful.” She pecked Sam’s cheek before plopping down on the couch and beckoning him to sit next to her. Sam did just that, played the movie, and wrapped his arm around Eileen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah. The whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>world not ending </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing? He could get used to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, Sam found himself sprawled on the couch with a spoon in his mouth, and a sticky note on his forehead. He spit out the spoon, and ripped the sticky note off to read it. He found that on it, scrawled in Dean’s chicken scratch, was the words “nice one sammy,” along with a crude thumbs up drawn on. Sam scoffed, balled up the paper, and threw it in the trash. It was Dean’s way of actually being happy for Sam, but he was still a </span>
  <em>
    <span>jerk</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam wandered over to the kitchen, seeing Cas and Jack nerding over some lore on the map table on his way. In the kitchen, Sam found Dean and Eileen collaborating on some bacon, eggs, and toast. They were smiling and joking, a wonderfully new sight to see around here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey jerk, </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> put a spoon in my mouth and a sticky note on my forehead.” Sam crossed his arms and glared at Dean, suppressing a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean turned around and made a mock surprise expression, gaping his mouth open exaggeratedly. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>? No way!” Sam playfully shoved Dean and glanced to Eileen, seeing her smiling at the eggs she was frying up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was then that Sam noticed Dean’s apron, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span> that was an apron. A beautiful, red, frilly apron with a chicken embroidered on the front. Dean noticed Sam’s expression of delight, got a little red, and whipped around to hide the quite frankly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantastic</span>
  </em>
  <span> apron he donned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, though, man, I’m happy for you two dorks. Little Sammy got a girlfriend!” Dean chuckled, showing his pride, but hiding the chick flick behind a little teasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam signed to Eileen, “Is that word okay? Girlfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eileen signed back, “Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two idiots grinned at each other, the glow reflecting off both their faces and growing increasingly more intense. “Ew!” Dean faked a gag. “Get a room.” He called as he exited the kitchen to deliver food to Jack. Sam and Eileen smiled at each other, grabbed their own breakfasts, and joined Team Free Will 3.0 at the map table for a nice breakfast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Dean</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean scarfed down his plate of bacon and eggs while Cas watched in impressed disgust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is it possible for a human to eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Cas asked, directly mostly at Dean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I don’t think Amara knows herself,” Sam said, sipping his hippie smoothie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Dean can’t leave that thought just like that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he can eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>faster</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He knows it. Dean started shoveling </span>
  <em>
    <span>more food</span>
  </em>
  <span> into his mouth, just to impress the ladies. And the fellas, maybe, but he doesn’t know, and he’s still thinking about it, okay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas stared. “That’s. . . impressive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“mhi mnoh,” Dean </span>
  <em>
    <span>said</span>
  </em>
  <span> through chunks of food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sorry, say that again?” Sam asked, chuckling, sharing his laughter with the rest of TFW 3.0.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean swallowed, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>said </span>
  </em>
  <span>I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam scoffed, and they continued their meals, squabbling over little things and laughing over old cases. It was cheery and happy, and that was a new one. Dean was still getting used to letting himself be happy, and it was tough as hell. But something else was nagging at Dean, and he couldn’t quite place it. Until, well, Cas did a thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas took Dean’s fork, which sat by his plate unused at the time, and snatched a bite from Dean’s eggs. He shoved the fork in his mouth like he was trying to stab something, grimaced, and placed the fork back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dean thought. But he didn’t say that. Instead. . . </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh, what was that for, buddy?” Dean questioned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas furrowed his brows and tilted his head. After he swallowed the bite of food, he spoke. “I wanted to see if that tasted any better than PB&amp;Js. I haven’t had much food, but coffee tastes pleasant, and I wanted to see if this would as well. It didn’t. Just… molecules.” Cas looked absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorably </span>
  </em>
  <span>disappointed, and Dean knew what was bugging him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole ladies </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> fellas thing. Bisexual, Dean’s therapist let him know, and they also said it’s also super normal and okay, but Dean is still thinking about it and. . . well, Cas being cute wasn’t helping the straight macho man case. Dean's whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>idea</span>
  </em>
  <span> of being a real man (which he now calls toxic masculinity) was really crumbling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Amara became </span>
  <em>
    <span>the light</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Chuck became </span>
  <em>
    <span>the dark</span>
  </em>
  <span> as well as becoming </span>
  <em>
    <span>in the dark cage</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sam suggested therapy for everybody, and hell, if that wasn’t a good idea. Dean initially rejected, saying therapy was for emotional wrecks of chicks, but after a few sessions? Thank </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Dean got his head out of his ass long enough to try it. He’s learned that emotions aren’t exclusive to chicks, he can need help sometimes (still struggling, but trying, with that one), and it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay </span>
  </em>
  <span>in a bad way to like things that Dean likes. Which maybe might sort kinda include guys. That’s pretty gay, and it’s totally fine for other people to be gay… but Dean? Dean was straight. Right? No. Maybe? Probably not? Plus, Dean learned the term </span>
  <em>
    <span>bisexual</span>
  </em>
  <span> which was slowly approaching him from behind, sneaking up and </span>
  <em>
    <span>pouncing</span>
  </em>
  <span> while Dean thought that, yeah, he was probably definitely Bi. But he still was into chicks, he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>appreciated</span>
  </em>
  <span> guys. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe the Doctor Sexy thing should’ve given something away. Oh well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So after breakfast, when Sam and Eileen set off on a date and Jack and Cas decided to work on some Angel Power crap, Dean had a moment to think for himself. While watching Queer Eye, because he was totally about that chick flick nonsense now, he was thinking about sexuality, that he wouldn’t let himself think about without undermining it’s value. He thought about how it wasn’t that he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>appreciated</span>
  </em>
  <span> guys, no, he was definitely in love with Cas. Which was pretty gay, and Dean started to hyperventilate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loved a man-shaped person and he was bisexual, and it wasn’t just the sexual that made him bi. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Gross, mushy, touchy-feely </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> that men weren’t supposed to express. Repression was the number one thing his dad taught him. Ew, love, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cas</span>
  </em>
  <span> and other dudes look nice, and women look nice, so bisexual. Maybe it was time to come out. He was forty, and it was about time. Yeah, yeah, internet says be positive about taking a while to figure yourself out, but no apocalypse was on the way and Dean might as well take advantage of this situation before another one rolls around. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to come out as bisexual</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dean thought. He turned off Queer Eye and sat back in his bed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit I’m gonna come out as bisexual</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sammy, I’m bi. Bisexual. I like dudes and chicks</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He breathed in again, holding for one, two, three. . . </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cas, I’m bisexual. I like guys and gals. Y’know, just wanted to say that.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He exhaled. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jack, hey kid. I just wanted to tell you I’m bisexual. Which means I’m into girls and boys. So, uh, yeah. Don’t hesitate to talk to me about uh, Queer stuff if you wanna.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He smiled and sighed happily at the thought of Jack being open and able to talk to Dean about identities and mushy gushy feelings that he never got to feel as a kid. Dean sighed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Eileen, I’m bi. That’s a thing, just lettin’ ya know</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He let himself look forward to telling them this, since he knew they were the most accepting bunch around, and he fell back into his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, this’ll work. Sammy, Cas, Jack, I’m Bi. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was still nervous, but that was okay. Everything would work out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Remember Dean</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no apocalypse, no deals, no nothin’. Let’s do this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eileen and Sam got home from their date-day (there was a picnic, which </span>
  <em>
    <span>aww Sammy had a picnic with his girlfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>) in time for dinner, and Dean had planned to come out to Sam, alone, sometime after. Dinner went as planned, and it seemed like Cas and Jack were too tuckered out from all their </span>
  <em>
    <span>angelic training</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be up for a movie. That was good, because Dean wanted to talk to Sam ASAP. But that was bad, because </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh no, oh somebody, I’m gonna come out to Sam today. Now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dean breathed heavily, and caught Sam coming from the bathroom after dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey man, can I talk to you?” Dean gulped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. You gotta stalk me to the bathroom for it?” Sam chuckled, lightening the mood and easing Dean’s nerves a little bit. It was a gentle reminder that emotional chats weren’t taboo anymore, and Dean could approach anytime he needed somebody to talk to. Which was nice. Who knew not being held to a toxic idea of masculinity could do that to somebody. Neat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, just kinda wanted to get’cha alone. Uh, yeah. Got something to tell you.” Dean breathed in and out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool, what is it?” Sam didn’t seem judgemental. Okay, this is going well. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come on, Winchester. You’ve been to literal Hell, and it’s nothing compared to some gay shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dean stopped that train of thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hell sucked and this isn’t some gay shit, this is important. Okay. Let’s go.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m, uh, I’m b-bisexual. I’m into chicks a-and dudes. . .” Dean murmured the last part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Dean, I’m so glad you told me. Thanks, man. Sorry you couldn’t have said it earlier, you know how dad was-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, I know. . .” Dean exhaled, trying to dismiss thoughts about what his dad would think of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay son</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Dean remembered to stop himself. Dad was wrong. “A-are you surprised?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, no, not really,” Sam admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dean squeaked back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, the Doctor Sexy obsession was kinda a give away. Uh, no offense or anything.” Sam chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean huffed a laugh out in response. “Yeah, you know that probably should’ve given that away to me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam snicked. “You think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jerk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment of silence came and passed, both brothers completely comfortable through it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m out. Awesome.” Dean smiled to himself. “You can, uh, tell Eileen too. I’m not really close to her.” Dean rocked on his heels. “Yeah, uh, that’s all. Anyways, I’m gonna go tell Cas.” Dean pointed with his thumb behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam stopped him from going. “Are you gonna tell him?” Sam asked, like an idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I said I was gonna tell Cas I’m bi.” Dean looked at Sam suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not that. The, uh, other thing. Involving the eye sex you’ve been having for a decade.” Sam rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean choked on his own spit. “Sam! One step at a time, bitch!” He breathed in and out. “Not yet,” he finished, in a lighter tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam shrugged, “Hey, no rush, man. I’m glad you told me, and I’m glad you’re working through this stuff. Don’t wanna push you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sam was the best brother a guy could’a asked for. Dean pulled Sam into a hug, and it lasted longer than a macho bro pat. Dean could get good at this whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>not hiding from emotions</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing. It was getting better, </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling </span>
  </em>
  <span>better, and not just feeling angry at himself and broken and… he was allowed to be okay. Just for a little while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Sammy. I really appreciate it,” Dean said after backing out of the hug. “Gonna, uh, go now.” He waved awkwardly and made his way to the library.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced around, not finding Cas or Jack, and figured Jack must’ve been tucked in by now. He went over to Jack’s room, where he found Cas as he pressed a kiss to the kid’s forehead and tucked him in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That is the cutest goddamned </span>
  </em>
  <span>(literally</span>
  <em>
    <span>) angel, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dean thought, in a very bi way. Dean didn’t disturb, and just waited outside for Cas to exit Jack’s room. Dean smiled to greet Cas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Cas, can I talk to you?” Dean asked, a little more nervous for Cas than for Sam. For, uh, well, reasons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Dean. What’s on your mind?” Cas asked, voice full of acceptance that rubbed off on Dean. In the supportive way, not… whatever. He was lucky to have such a wonderful family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, well, kinda wanted to get this out, you know, been on my mind for a bit, well, since the apocalypse wasn’t on my mind and all that-” Dean cut himself off, gesturing the cut with his hands. He breathed deeply. “I’m bisexual. I dig both genders, many genders, I don’t know the definition is kind of vague but I. . . yeah. I’m bi.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>That was bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dean thought,</span>
  <em>
    <span> oh well, too late to go back now.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean looked up from the spot where he was staring at the floor to meet Cas’ eyes. Cas looked. . . sad. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s he sad about? Shit. What did I break this time? Broken, broken, broken...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great, Dean. I’m grateful you were able to tell me this.” Cas’ voice was supportive, but so </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorrowful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dean didn’t understand but believed in his heart that he’d done something wrong. The atmosphere was becoming uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah. I’m gonna go. . . to bed. Night, Cas.” Dean waved again, awkward </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> wave, and walked to his room, to collapse face first into the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is Cas sad?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean wondered, frantically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What did I do wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean’s thoughts were filled with theories about Cas and ideas that mostly made him feel unloved, as hard as he tried to shut them down, the theories just kept unraveling, extending, and amplifying beyond the realm of reason. Dean drifted off to these thoughts, which no nightmare would ever be cruel enough to take advantage of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Castiel</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas stood in the hallway beside Jack's room, staring a hole into the wall. A phrase echoed through his head, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dean doesn't love me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Before that phrase came a few realizations. One, that Dean was attracted to both female </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> male vessels. That one was stated quite obnoxiously. Two, that meant that Dean could have been attracted to Cas. Three, Dean was not attracted to Cas because he wasn't good enough. Also stated far too obviously for Cas' liking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He understood, really, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Cas knew he was never good enough, but to have it pointed out so explicitly hurt, just where Angels weren't meant to hurt, in the heart. Metaphorically, of course. His vessel’s heart was entirely functional. It didn’t feel like it, though. Cas was always aware of how his heart beat rhythmically, pounding over and over, but it felt trapped, like it was scraping against his ribcage. Like he was being strangled by these overwhelming emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas walked into the library, hoping to find a book that would distract him. Sam was there, because of course Cas needed to face someone right now. That would really nail that coffin in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Cas, did Dean tell you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know he's still thinking 'bout other stuff, so give him some time. Our dad was pretty terrible at education for queer stuff, y'know?" Sam acted like Cas knew exactly what he was talking about, so Cas pretended too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am aware John Winchester was not open to queer children. I'm deeply sorry I was not in a position to intervene at the time." Cad stated solemnly, his mind really on other things. Well, what he thought were unrelated topics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good, man, he's done a lot better since he started seeing that therapist." Sam scoffed. “We’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> done better since therapy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I agree." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Cas left it there. Sam walked off in the direction of his room, waving to an unseen party on the other end of the doorframe, probably going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>spend some time</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Eileen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas was the only one left cruelly awake. How he wished he could drift into an empty space for a few hours to keep himself from his thoughts... When he was certain everyone else was asleep, he let himself cry, alone in his room. He sobbed to the dark thoughts that Dean would never love him, of course not. Then, when he knew Jack would be waking up soon, he shut that emotional part of himself down to be composed for his son. Jack had a very unhealthy cereal breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through mouthfuls of diabetes fuel, Jack spoke. "Do you love Dean?" Right on the nose. He knew it was just an innocent question for a three-year old to ask, but it still hurt, especially with recent events. Cas looked to the table instead of facing Jack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How?" Jack questioned, in such a tone that only a toddler could have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean, Jack?" Cas asked, tilting his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Dean loves </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sam</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> but it all. . ." Jack looked around the room for the words he couldn't place, "feels different," he finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Jack, his bond with his brother is, well, brotherly. His bond with you is paternal. His bond with me is platonic. I don't see what this has to do with my love for Dean." Cas stated, and wasn't particularly looking for an explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you and Dean seem different. Like Eileen and Sam. That's how it feels. So I was wondering </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> you love Dean. Like Sam loves Dean? Like Sam loves Eileen? Like Dean loves me? </span>
  <em>
    <span>How</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" Jack set his spoon down in his bowl and stared up at the bunker's ceiling. Cas gulped. He had to answer this, for the kid's sake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. "Well, I love Dean every way he'll have me. He loves me as a brother, so that is what we share." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack quipped, "but that's what he feels, and you don't know what he feels. Doctor JP said that to me. Anyways, I'm not asking about that. How do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> love </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas looked away. "I imagine I love Dean more than Sam loves Eileen. In the same way, I suppose." It felt like more, though. A cosmic longing that no human would ever feel. A love all encompassing that made him sacrifice everything to be as close to Dean as Dean’s limited love for Cas would allow. A love greater than Chuck and Amara, something intangible and so strong of a feeling… surely humans didn’t feel things this strongly. Surely their love was different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack began shining like a lightbulb. "I knew it." While Jack seemed to be celebrating, Cas heard his thoughts echo in his head, a reminder that Jack might tell Dean this. Then, how Dean would react… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jack, listen. You can't tell Dean this, if he knows--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Jack interrupted. "You tell each other yourselves. Sam taught me that. People liking other people romantically will say for themselves." Jack said, beaming with pride at this lesson he's learned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas hesitated. "Yes, Jack. Correct."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack went back to scarfing down his </span>
  <em>
    <span>meal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In a brief pause between bites, he asked “Does that mean you’re queer?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes, I suppose. Quite honestly, I don’t give it much thought. The vessel I use is male, and I’m attracted equally to either sex and any gender presentation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean? Like, uh, what word? You’re not gay, you’re not a man. Are you bisexual?” Jack tilted his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe </span>
  <em>
    <span>pansexual</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the right word for me. I would also like to describe myself as agender, though I am referred to by typically male pronouns, which I am indifferent to.” Cas paused, his eyes drifting to the ceiling in thought. “Is there a reason you’ve asked me all this?” He looked back to Jack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack quit eating his cereal. “Well, yes. No. Maybe?” Jack fiddled with his spoon. “I don’t know if I’m queer or not yet.” He looked down to his feet, like he was ashamed. Better fix that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas put a hand on Jack’s shoulder to reassure. “Don’t worry about figuring that out just yet. Take your time. It has taken me millenia to understand myself in this fashion, and you’re only three years old as of May. Do you want to talk more about yourself, or hear my experiences?” Cas inquired, hoping to be helpful. He was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I wanted to know your experiences, and then I’m going to talk to Dean in the morning. Since he’s also queer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas squinted, confused. “He came out to you before…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not important to him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cas knew it was a selfish thought. But… he wanted to be more important to Dean. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard him come out to you in the hallway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Cas nodded, having forgotten Jack was even in the picture. He was only focused on how Dean didn’t love him. Cas looked to his shoes. He promised himself not to cry in front of Jack, and he wouldn’t break that promise, no matter how much his eyes tried to spill his emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was going to talk to Sam too. Probably later than waking up time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas scoffed, a memory replaying in his head. “You remember that Dean is like a bear in the mornings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I plan for after coffee consultation.” Jack stated, clearly proud of his vocabulary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s wise,” Cas agreed, the curves of a smile threatening to reach his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he reminds himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not happy yet, don’t take me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His thoughts reserved for himself were along the lines of </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course I’m not happy, Dean hates me and has made that clear. I’ll be here for as long as I’m useful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If Cas were to think back on this moment, he'd realize that his therapist had been trying to give these thoughts less power. At the time, though, they controlled him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jack nodded, and finished eating his cereal. Jack then migrated towards the TFW Cave to play some mobile games on an iPad, while Cas found a book to read and keep him company. It was difficult, though. Cas’ mind always wandered back to Dean, and the coming out, and how no matter if Dean was attracted to female and male vessels, he would never be attracted to Castiel the Angel with fading grace and limited use. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas tried not to think so poorly of himself, Doctor JP had said he didn’t have to. But the tunnel of never ending and spiraling thoughts just found him wherever he was, and took him against his will. Fighting it hurt more than accepting the horrible gut feeling he knew he definitely wasn’t supposed to have. Feelings weren’t all that great, anyways. Sometimes Cas wished he never rebelled. But that would mean a life without knowing Dean as a true friend, and life without feeling this love for him. The love was a curse and a gift, Cas had decided. It made him feel alive and warm but hopeless and cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas heard shuffling around the kitchen, and both he and Jack got up to see who was up. It was only around 3:00 a.m.. Cas hoped that neither Winchester brothers were up because of a nightmare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was up because of a nightmare. A nightmare that didn’t involve hell or John Winchester’s disapproval of the queer stuff, though he had had many of those. A nightmare involving Cas. Being left. He’d had those dreams before, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Cas, I love you.” The dream just started there, faked memories filling in for before this point.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dean then looked from the ground to see a disgusted face. Cas didn’t want this. Cas didn’t want </span>
  </em>
  <span>him</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next thing Dean saw was a vague Castiel and Jack ushering themselves out of the bunker, leaving glares over their shoulders. Dean cried for them to come back, to not leave him, but they wouldn’t listen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I hate you.” Sam said. Dean was now in the kitchen. “I hate you and I’m going to leave with Eileen. Don’t call us.” Dean cried back, unable to say anything. He tried to scream but his mouth wouldn’t work. He tried to run for them but his legs refused to move.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sam and Eileen walked out the bunker door, leaving sneers and judgmental gazes behind.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dean wailed and crumbled and must’ve died. That’s how it felt, Dean knew.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are useless now. We wish you died in the battle against Chuck,” a joint voice of Sam, Cas, Jack, Eileen, and surprisingly Mary and John Winchester echoed. “We hate you. Everyone hates you. Stay here and rot.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The rest of the dream was those voices echoing and echoing, leaving behind a weeping Dean Winchester who knew he didn’t deserve the last name. He wasn’t a part of the family. He never was. He’s a screw-up. A broken, empty-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean gasped to life after that. He had wandered to the kitchen, looking for some alcohol. Or maybe a bowl of milk and cereal would do it, who knows. He just needed anything to distract him. Though he was already distracted enough to forget that Cas and Jack were probably both awake at this point of the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi dad!” Jack greeted ecstatically, wrapping Dean with an aggressive hug. Dean smiled at being called </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was still kind of new, and hugged back. “I heard you come out to Cas outside my room last night! That’s super cool! I’m really proud. You’re the best.” Jack leaned back to make his statement before burying himself in Dean’s shoulder again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh kid, thanks.” Dean remembered why he wanted to tell Jack. Well, one of the reasons. “Hey, you ever want to talk about Queer stuff I’m all ears, gotcha kid? No pressure, you are only three.” Dean chuckled, roughing up Jack’s hair. “But you know I’m here for ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack stepped back. “Yeah, of course!” Jack’s smile was contagious. He then tilted his head. Kid was looking like Cas more and more each day. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah kid, you know what, I should.” Dean nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Dean started lazily making his way out of the kitchen, and Jack basically bounced his way to the TFW Cave. Before Dean could escape, Cas stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Dean regretted coming out to get some food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have a nightmare?” Cas asked, always the nicest and most considerate. Dean sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. . .” He admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it? Or I can use my grace to help you sleep.” Cas seemed determined to give himself a use. Dean was all too used to doing that himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I’m good...” Dean scratched the back of his neck, and looked away from Cas’ face. Dean could tell Cas about </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>being left</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling useless</span>
  </em>
  <span> but it was too much to handle right now. But Cas’ reaction in that horrid dream… Would it be how he’d really react? What would Cas say? Did Cas feel that gushy gross love for him back? He did rebel and lose heaven for Dean… Maybe… maybe he could hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean, are you alright?” Cas leaned in and turned his head to the side, squinting with that </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorable</span>
  </em>
  <span> confused expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, uh, but can I talk to you about something else?” Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Now there was no going back. He was going to admit </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Cas. Feelings were okay to have, kinda, it was still hard… but love? For a man-shaped angel who might not love him back?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Dean. What is it?” Cas’ hand was still on Dean’s shoulder, which did absolutely nothing to help the disaster bi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, well, Cas. I gotta tell you something. You know. Uh, Yeah. Yup.” Dean was so close to saying it. So close, but not quite there. He needed a little encouragement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas just waited. Not helping. Oh well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas, I. . . I love you. Not like a brother or anything, you know. . . I just wanted to say. You don’t have to say it back and-” Dean was looked directly into Cas’ eyes. Something was deeply wrong. No disgust, no relief, nothing Dean expected. Instead, pure terror. Dean had dared to hope his affections were returned but… what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> does this reaction mean?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean,” Cas choked out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, was he crying?</span>
  </em>
  <span> A tear dripped its way down Cas’ cheek. “Dean, I love you, I’m sorry.” Cas shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> man? Why are you sorry? Why do you look like I just shot a puppy? What the hell is wrong?!” Dean yelled, mostly out of his own terror. He held Cas by the shoulders, trying to look him in the eye. Something was going wrong. Really wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I made a deal, Dean.” Dean’s eyes widened with horror. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not like this. Not again. “</span>
  </em>
  <span>When Jack died, the Empty tried to claim him. I elected to take his place, but it refused, deciding that it'd only take me when I was truly happy. Dean, I’m so sorry, I’m so. . .” Cas quit talking when he collapsed into Dean’s arms. A low rumbling began to shake the bunker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, isn’t it?” Dean asked, his hopelessness blatant in his tone. Cas nodded. “Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Dean hugged Cas as tight as he could without crossing the line into strangling. Dean closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. “I’m so sorry, Cas, I love you, I love you, don’t go, please. . .” Cas didn’t respond, but Dean heard soft sobs. Dean would never see Cas again. Not even when he died, he wouldn’t be able to share a heaven like a regular couple. Cas was an Angel, there was no Heaven for him. Only-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OH </span>
  <em>
    <span>FUCK</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Dean said, his eyes shooting open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Cas backed away enough to face Dean, but wouldn’t go any farther.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Become human. The Empty can’t take humans. Cas, hurry. Get rid of your grace, I’m sorry if it’ll hurt just please don’t leave me again. . .” Dean begged, feeling the shaking of the bunker grow more intense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. OH.” Cas’ eyes widened as well. He grabbed his Angel Blade from wherever it hides all the time, and slit his neck. Dean grimaced, and the grace dissipated into the bunker, having no vile to keep it in this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas collapsed, and when Dean checked, his heart was still beating and his lungs were still breathing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank somebody</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The jittering of the bunker stopped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jack</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The terrifying rumbling had ceased, so something must have gone down. Jack had bolted out through the bunker to then find Cas collapsed in Dean’s arms, unconscious. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dead?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jack thought. He rushed to Cas’ side. If Cas was dead. . . Jack didn’t know what he would do. How he would carry on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” Jack kneeled down in a motion that could’ve been rockstar in the right situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, kid, he’s fine. Uh, Cas made a deal. But it’s broken! And everything’s gonna be alright, okay Jack? I can explain later, let’s get him off the floor.” Dean patted Jack’s back to reassure him. Jack didn’t really believe Dean. “Come on, kid. Brighten up.” Dean’s tone turned concerned. “Jack! Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-sorry Dean. Did. . . what happened?” Jack stared wide-eyed at Castiel’s body. He wasn’t completely convinced his father was alive. If Dean knew and was talking about the Deal. . . there’s only one thing that could’ve happened. And the Empty wasn’t kind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I’ll explain on the way to a soft and comfortable bed for this sleepy angel--human, ah whatever.” Dean motioned for Jack to help lift Cas up, and Jack did. Just then, Sam and Eileen came running with similar looks of terror. They both looked a little disheveled. Jack wondered how that could've happened on the way over here. “Hey, hey, calm down. A deal was made, a deal was broken, everything’s good. We need to get Cas to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam took Jack’s place in carrying Cas. “What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>happened, Dean?” Sam asked sternly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay, so. Back when Jack was dead Cas made a deal to switch places, since the Empty wanted Jack, but the Empty decided to only come when Cas was happy. Uh, well, we, uh. I said- well, you know this Sam and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You confessed.” Sam looked horrified, and Jack shared that sentiment. If Dean confessed, Cas was happy. If Cas was happy, they’d lose him. They’d lose him forever. Dead. Gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, don’t piss your panties. Before the Empty actually got here, Cas took out his grace and is now human. He passed out ‘cause of it, but he’s fine. Alive. Breathing normally. Empty has nothing over humans, so we’re cool.” Dean sighed contently. “We’re cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack exhaled a breath he must’ve been holding in for this entire time. “You’re sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As sure as I can be, buckaroo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Buckaroo</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Sam repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, you’re a jerk. Let’s get Cas to his bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean began leading Cas to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dean’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> room. Oh, right, couples shared rooms! It was a mystery to Jack why they didn’t share a room before, but he was happy for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid Cas down in Dean’s (their?) bed, and stood around it like they were performing a ritual. It was quiet for a while, everyone processing. Dean seemed to be buffering. Sam looked hesitantly happy. Jack was a little disappointed in himself for not coming up with this solution sooner, but hey, at least everyone’s safe now. Oh, and Jack gets two married dads. That sounds </span>
  <em>
    <span>awesome</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jack briefly contemplated whether they’re married now, or if they had been married before and are still married. That whole romance thing was still a bit confusing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you and Cas, huh?” Sam teased, a smile threatening to shape his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bitch</span>
  </em>
  <span> you really wanna do this </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Dean looked at Sam, offended but amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you two will make a wonderful couple,” Jack helpfully supplied. Dean tried to be angry, but his face looked content.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, kid. I hope so.” Dean stared down at Cas with wonder in his eyes. “We should probably get some food, oh, clothes would be nice, and like a toothbrush or some other. . .” Dean’s words devolved into nonsensical mumbling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can cook,” Eileen signed and said, gesturing to her and Sam. “You take care of your sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean’s face went red. Was he cold? Jack knew the temperature of the room didn’t change. . . “Th-thanks,” Dean said, eloquently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright jerk, take care.” Sam and Eileen left the room holding hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Jack, Dean, and a sleeping Castiel were left in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you loved him. He always talked about loving you like it was a sad thing. I tried to tell him.” Jack provided, proud of himself for being such an upstanding nephilim with his two fathers’ relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean sputtered out a “u-u-uh, thanks kid.” Jack wondered why Dean acted this way. He had learned not to ask, though, adults usually got awkward about relationships. Maybe one day Jack would figure it out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Castiel</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas awoke with a new, different, and very human awareness of raspy breath, itchy stubble, soft blankets, warmth, and Dean Winchester's weight sinking the mattress down. Cas opened his eyes, a less conscious effort than it used to be, and gazed at Dean, whose eyes were shut and streaming with tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dean?" Cas choked out, coughing lightly with how </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> using his vocal chords was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cas! Cas." Dean's eyes shot open and he fell down to embrace Cas. Cas smiled and hugged back, feeling his chest heave with breath against Dean's. He'd been human before, but this was different. All new sensations flooded through Cas. They weren't good or bad, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>new</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dean, is everything alright? The Empty couldn't take me?" Cas pushed Dean away to look into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, sweetheart. Motherfucker didn't have the audacity to show its face here." Dean wiped away his tears and scoffed, smirking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Dean." Cas pulled him back into the hug. "I love you. Thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, Cas." Dean sighed, and sat back up, resting his hand on Cas'. "Need anything? Water? Food? I can go fetch Jack and Sam, too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Water would be nice. I want to talk to Jack too… and it's likely necessary I take a shower. I'd also like some new clothes… I hadn't realized before just how hot this many layers is," Cas frowned, tilting his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah you are." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean chuckled. "You're hot. Anyways, one thing at a time. I'll grab you a T-shirt and some sweats, then go get Jack." Dean smiled at Cas, not moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Cas could question it, Dean leaned down and kissed Cas briefly. It was an odd sensation. Cas had kissed before, but in </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>ways. He’d kissed Meg like the Pizza Man, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. He’d kissed April because that was what he was meant to do, too, also full of techniques he'd seen before. He’d kissed Daphne like a stereotypical angel, chaste and full of the love of god. Dean’s kiss was just relieving, and strangely enough, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn't even why Cas was happy to have been kissed. It was that he could say he did it. Cas sighed before Dean pulled away. That was a frustratingly short kiss, practically there just to tease. Dean threw some clothes onto the bed, and left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room didn't get any hotter, and nothing physical changed dramatically, but Cas was left with a warm satisfaction in his chest. Emotional warmth, fulfillment, and happiness bubbled inside him. It wasn't anything he ever thought he'd get but… there they were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later… Dean </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was curled around Cas, exhaustion creeping in after… well, don't be a perv. It was an incredibly satisfying feeling, to rest in his love's arms. That bastard turned the great Dean Winchester into a sap. Oh well, he was having a good time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long?" Cas said, running his fingers through Dean's hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long have I loved you?" Dean felt more than heard Cas nod. "I don't know. For the longest time I couldn't let myself feel it cause I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally straight</span>
  </em>
  <span>-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas snorted, smirking. He propped himself up on his elbow, and deadpanned. "Yes, after all, getting fucked by a queer ex-angel in the body of a man was very hetero of you, Dean."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean lightly shoved him back into a lying position, smirking and rolling his eyes. "Cas, you little shit." Dean did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>snuggle back into his lovers arms, that'd be stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You may continue now, my platonic love," Cas chuckled. It was a beautiful sound, and Dean couldn't wait to hear more of it. Even if it came from Cas' asshole teasing remarks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I knew there was something that wasn't real straight about the way I searched purgatory. You know, the first time." Cas hummed, holding Dean's head close to his chest. "And by our second visit to that shitshow, I knew I loved you." Cas just smiled, continuing to trace Dean's back. "I was gonna say it, too, after I found you again. Then you shut me up, and I figured we needed to focus on other things." Dean sighed. “What about you, Cas? How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surely me rebelling against everything I’ve ever known could’ve given you a little hint, Dean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it was the right thing to do- that wasn’t because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was it?” Dean murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not entirely you, but it was a great factor. I started falling in love with you the moment I saw your soul in hell.” Cas seemed whisked away in the memory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I was at my worst back then… broken, giving in to Alistair, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cas</span>
  </em>
  <span>…” Dean didn’t know what to say. If Cas had loved him then, even with his soul broken to pieces like that- Cas was </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean, you deserve good things. You’ve never been broken to me.” Cas stoked the back of Dean’s neck while he absolutely <em>wasn’t</em> blushing, because men don’t do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you do too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Screw that bullshit ending, here's some queer fluff. Comments and kudos make my day :)<br/>Fun fact: while I was looking for songs about bisexuality for my Dean Winchester playlist, I came across a song called "Coming Clean" by Green day. lyric video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnwL6SKKI-s That's what this fic's named for.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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